Dear Candy- the woman who had my phone number before me,

I was okay, when you’re (mother??) called, leaving me messages. On what time to pick up Shaquanda from school. I have also been fine with the fact that I have received multiple text messages from some kind of online calendar of yours, telling me when to register the kiddos for school, Daruis’s birthday…those such things.

But I start to lose the little sanity I have left, when collection companies call me, looking for you Candy, at six o’clock in the AM, on Saturdays.
You must be in some serious shit, since they call me all the time looking for you, or (your husband??) but never before was it at SIX A CLOCK IN THE MORNING ON A SATURDAY. Today was a first. I really surprised myself in my scream at the dude on the other end asking for you, when I used the sentence “THIS IS NOT CANDY AND YOU NEED TO REFRAIN FROM CALLING ME!!!!!!!!!”  Refrain? 

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER WOMAN.