my biggest fear is that i’m going to accomplish all these goals and things that i have set out to do for myself and others the next five years. that i’ll accomplish all of them and still wake up feeling the exact same way as i do right now.

and the more i think about it, the more i realize that i probably will, feel the same exact way, just with new goals, different people (some the same).

i love the routine that I have set up for myself, but at the same time, its so boring and ROUTINE, that i hardly even feel alive.

everybody wants to badly to be different, think of themselves as something special, but we are all SO ALIKE. even our opinions.

i am not content with a shower every morning. oatmeal for breakfast. the same city every single day. i don’t want to be oblivious to the screwed up shit going on in the world. i don’t want to be too ignorant to try. there’s a part of me that wishes i could be content with this life. the tedious bullshit of being a mammal.

but i am not.

i gotta find a point. i gotta find something to do. or i’m going to tear my skin off.